Homewrecker
by Croutonic Sarcasm
Summary: It hurt when he said he wasn't my wife. I only wanted to show him where I wanted him to be- by my side, forever. SuFin


It hurt when he said he wasn't my wife. It was such a simple statement. Just a tiny expression of what I felt for the smaller nation when we escaped from Denmark. I only wanted to show him where I wanted him to be- by my side, forever, holding hands if he wanted, holding him at night if he allowed, watching him play with Hanatamago with a smile only he would ever see, a kiss on his forehead and my heart in his hands.

But he said he wasn't my wife.

I understand what he means. He isn't a woman, and he will never be a woman. I don't want him to be a woman, though, if that it what he fears. No, I want him to be who he is. He doesn't need to be anything he is not. I want him for him.

That is rare to hear in my head... _I want him_. I do. I don't understand why, either. It's so cold where I live, and it snows constantly, just as it does for him. The temperature is so low in winter that we rival Russia's coldest nights. But when he is around, I am warm, like a hot spring in the mountains. I get hot inside and I loosen my tie just a bit, but there's nothing I can do about this heat. It's inside of me, in my bones and in my skin. It's because of him.

But he doesn't want me. He's afraid of me. When I rolled over and put my arm around him because it was cold, he tensed, he yelped like a puppy, and he didn't snuggle back. He was afraid. I have overstepped a boundary I had not realized was there. It was a fairly idiotic mistake, one I did not repeat. I was more careful, more gentle, and gave more warning. But not one time did he hold me in return.

He stopped being afraid of me. He lived with me, he smiled. He raised that dog with me, Hanatamago, and we- I, really, adopted Sealand. The boy is small and stupid, unknowing of how the world works. I thought that maybe, if we raised him together, he might come to realize that his happiest place in life is at my side as my wife.

But just today he rejected me again, amethyst eyes shining and looking apologetic. _I'm sorry, Swe... I'm just not your wife. Please stop calling me that..._ I merely nodded to him, noting the request before looking away. If that was what he wanted.

_A-and Swe...?_ I looked down to him. _I think I want to live in my own house... I mean, my boss needs to see me and it's pretty far to yours... I'll take Hanatamago so you don't have to worry about him. You keep Sealand though, he's your son._

**Your son.**

**Your son.**

**Your son.**

The words echoed in my ears. There was no _our_ or _my_. It was _your son._ There was no bond. here never had been a bond. There was only convenience of living at my house and friendship, perhaps. But there was never the love that I felt for him in his breast for me.

I just nodded. He smiled up to me. _I'll see you around!_ And then he was gone. It was almost instantaneous. My house was quiet without Christmas carols playing all day, without his giggling and Hanatamago's barking. Even though Sealand was loud and vocal to fill the silence, it wasn't the same. It was worst when Sealand went back to his own house when bored. There, I heard only the soft clicks of clocks and my heartbeat, measuring away the time. I was alone. Truly and finally alone.

I filled the time by designing new things for the popular stores near my home, Ikea being the most popular but by far not the only. I made items he would have loved to use and lay on, to relax with and cuddle pillows with a design just like _that_ curve but never, never _this_ curve. Every item I made was tailored to his taste. After focusing on him for so long, I didn't know what I liked any more. So I started simply.

I walked around my nation alone and I saw what the people did. I saw what the fashion was like, what was popular, what movies were watched, what foods were eaten, what books were read. I watched them all for days at a time, ignoring food and water. I needed to get back in touch with my own people before I could find myself.

It was more difficult than I anticipated. Each time I saw a sweet, I would think of him. If I saw a white puppy, my eyes immediately searched the area. If I heard a Finnish tourist say hello to a friend, I would spin on my heel in search of him. But he was never there. He was home n Finland.

I went and visited him once. It was foolish and led to more pain than before. England had been over, visiting and smiling over a shared tray of salamakki and tea. I wasn't welcomed, but neither was I turned away. I sat at the table silently, untouched tea before me. I was silent but he filled the air with smiles and airy giggles, pushing down Hanatamago when he tried to take a drink of my tea. He would have gotten sick if he'd gotten the tea.

England looked awkward, though he gave a smile. His eyes were unsure under those thick brows and when he met my gaze, his green eyes dropped to the tea and he took a few drinks. _Well, it's nice to see you, Sweden. How have you been?_

I didn't speak and he gave a weak chuckle at the silence. _Quiet as always, I see?_

Finland bustled back into the room from the kitchen, the puppy all but biting at his heels before he poured England some more tea with a bright smile. His eyes were trained on England's lips for just a moment before his gaze turned to the tea so make sure it didn't overpour the cup, his pale cheeks dusting with the lightest pink. _You were running out of tea! Here's some more!_

England gave him a warm smile. _Thank you, Tino._

**Tino. **England used his given name. He said **Tino**.

_'m g'n g' h'me._ I left, leaving behind two confused nations. I don't think either of them saw it yet. It was quie subtle. But it involved him. I noticed everything.

When they came out as a couple a few years later, I expected it.

When he was happily cooking in England's home, smiling and greeting him with tea whenever he wanted, I wasn't surprised.

When he held onto England's arm at the meeting, changing his seatig to bump France one chair away, I knew it had been coming.

Sealand even saw it. The boy looked to me one day after a meeting, holding my hand and kicking at England as he walked past, the Englishman grumbling under his breath. I tugged on Sealand's arm to pull him away. _D'n d' th'._

_But he hurt you!_ Was the chirped reply. _And you're more like my dad than he is! He's just a jerk of a big brother! And now, he took Finland from you!_

_H' d'n' ta' 'nyth'n'._

_Yeah, he did! He took your wife! That's called a homewrecker!_

I simply tugged on Sealand's hand and took him home. To silence him, I bought him some new toys from America. They reminded me of him- innocent and loving on the outside, but if turned and pushed a certain way, destructive with the smallest of things. Of course, Sealand's toys were cars that turned into robots. He was not a toy.

In the end though, it was just Sealand and me in my house. My large, echoing mansion, full of memories and silence. He was never going to return. I was never going see him in my bed again, curled around a pillow and happily snoring away. I would be lucky to see him smile. If I did, it would be the smile I never saw, and it would be for England.

I suppose nobody will see me smile like that again either.


End file.
